That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
