I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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