dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You've changed since you got that strap on
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