Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
