So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Are we still banned from the library?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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