i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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