I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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