The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
