Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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