yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
