I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
