i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
