I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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