Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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