he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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