4 words: hood of his car
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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