We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
