But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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