Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
