i barfeds in our rink
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
