did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
