His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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