Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I intend to get homeless drunk
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
