I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize