My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
