well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
