a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
