You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
