Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
