i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
