Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
