YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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