I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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