We named our party play list daddy issues
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
