i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
