i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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