we're blogging at a bar
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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