Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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