I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
