is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
