so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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