No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
