We need to rekindle our bromance
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
