you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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