okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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