And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
