He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
