just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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