i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can't put those talents on a resume
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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