when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
