U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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