i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
