brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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